Different Day, Same Old Shit
There is always more violence where that came from. In many ways as someone that exists in a specific way and specific context, you are always reminded of your place even in the most mundane of interactions. I find it exhausting, "Reach out to your black friend or colleague. Talk to your black friend or colleague about XYZ." Honestly speaking I would prefer that these conversations happen between white people so that I can continue to go about my day. I genuinely have things to do that do not involve having to explain what has already been said and what already exists. Your entitlement to labour is annoying and tiring and I have no interest in participating in that timeless circus of racist distraction.
It is all a lot. Not only are you working to cope with the regular programming of violent black death and racial plus anti-blackness injustice across the globe, but now you need to engage with white people to explain work that has always existed. To help them feel like better people. The only purpose of allyship and solidarity requires that you do the actual work of dismantling oppressive structures and systems by engaging in existing work, tools and policy proposal changes to have those conversations amongst yourselves. Without seeking validation and centring your comfort by putting a black friend and colleague on the spot to show you/prove to you that you are one of the good ones. The work exists, countless black people across the globe have had to engage in the thankless labour of explaining over and over again what it is, what it means and what you need to do. So do the work, engage with other white people in the work and leave black people alone.
For me this extends into all spaces of oppression; I do not have conversations with men to "debate and explain" sexism and misogyny. The work exists, either they want to do it or they don't and it is literally none of my business anymore what their thoughts are or what their level of political consciousness is as far as feminism is concerned. I am tired. Do the work or leave me the fuck alone. And you know what, there is always the exhausting choral assembly around the globe that will always do the labour of these groups by insisting that we must explain over and over again; engage over and over again with people that are simply not invested in learning and unlearning. Again I repeat, "The only purpose of allyship and solidarity is one that requires that you do the actual work of dismantling oppressive structures and systems by engaging in existing work, tools and policy proposal changes to have those conversations amongst yourselves."
Your allyship is not interesting, important or worth anyone's time if it does not involve doing the work, but is instead more interested in feeling like you are a good person. Well, guess what, nobody is. Everybody needs to be engaged in this work in one way or another. However, if you find yourself interrupting someone's day to have them explain things that you could have invested time and effort into to learn, then there is absolutely no value in your allyship. Do the work, challenge the systemic issues, institutions and groups and leave those people alone. They have done the work and your reminder that they as an outsider in the systems and structures and repeated interruption of their lives is absolutely in no way allyship.